Meet Staph - Staphylococcus hominis

Staph’s Log: The End of an Era

Meet Staph: The Bacteria Behind Body Odor (And Why Natural Deodorant is Winning)

Dear Diary,

It’s over. The glory days of underarm fermentation are gone.

For years, I perfected the art of breaking down sweat molecules into unmistakable thioalcohols—the compounds responsible for human body odor. But then they showed up. First, a faint eucalyptus scent. Then, the unmistakable chill of zinc ions in the air. Zaffré had arrived.

"Game over," I muttered, watching a sweat droplet evaporate.

Cory, ever the optimist, refused to accept defeat.

"Come on, Staph! It’s just a bump in the road!"

A bump? This is a bacterial apocalypse.

Now, instead of crafting signature body odor scents, I’m left watching humans stroll around confidently, completely stink-free.

"Well," I sighed, "it was a good run. Maybe it’s time for retirement."

But Cory, as usual, had other ideas.